....living in the moment.

 

 







I was waiting for life to happen to me

and I saw it pass by

better times to see

and not having to cry

I was waiting for dreams to turn into reality

and they shattered one by one

kindness amongst cruelty

and turn around things already done

I was waiting to make it big

and I always fell short

Execution of plans without any rig

and not having to abort

I was waiting for perfection

and everything became a compromise

Confident of my circumspection

and not the same old reprise

I was waiting for an end to this state of flux

and it just took over me

Desperation to get down to the crux

and method in madness to see


 I decided I need to live in now

and find a mean for feeling to vent

I seem to have found the strength to gain it all back somehow

By just living in the moment

Is this what we were meant to do?

(An amateur writer’s impression on the recent chain of events in Hyderabad)

Its lovely weather and I have nothing better to do
So I thought I will ask you
Let form a cause, let’s form an issue, find a reason to brood
Yeah, lets burn some buses dude

We are fighting for our rights
While lag of duties has risen to phenomenal rights
Some action is missing in life
Let do something and create some strife

The climate is creating havoc everywhere
But this is our claim to fame rare
Let’s not waste a moment to stop and think
Let’s destroy everything in a blink

There people to be fed and roads to be built
There are chores to be done and matters to be dealt
Those are responsibilities of others in the city
I have no reason to feel guilty

I can make something of me and do my kin proud

But that takes a lot of hard work for crying out loud
I will break glass; destroy property and burn in this conspiracy crude
Come my brother, let’s burn some buses dude!!!

....orchestrate the end of mankind!

On the occasion of worldwide "Blog Action day", October 15, 2009.
www.blogactionday.org


How did we land up on this edge?
Is it the result of our quest for knowledge?
In search of profits against nature
We find ourselves today at this juncture

Our reason for existence, depleting day by day
Cemented walls falling like castles of clay
There is chaos beyond our imagination
Unnerving is our technology fascination

The seasons are turning around
Chilling cold and Smoking ground
Each concrete jungle gets us close to extinction
Our mind consumed with greed, for any distinction

Our homes decorated with the ruins of the wild
Disappearing species a warning mild
Our charm to use things that do not decompose
Comforts do not allow alternative methods to propose

What is it that stops us from seeing any sign?
The pursuit of progress that made us cross the line
Have we become deaf and blind?
As we orchestrate the end of mankind?

On the occasion of worldwide "Blog Action day", October 15, 2009.

Where's Life Headed????

Born with a twinkle in my eye
Of dreams beyond the sky
A want to achieve things beyond comprehension
Devour of any apprehension

There’s always something to achieve and someone to defeat
Every step a battle no chance to retreat
Grades to achieve, behavior to follow, chores to do
There were rules on manner to breathe too

Blinded by lessons in patience and perseverance
Food, Cloth and Shelter and a whole lot of pretense
Good education, good job to measure my success
How could I be any less

Would I be someone with a lot of power and pelf
Or be happy experimenting being a chef
Would I have a band of my own
Or through writings would I be know

What I have today is basket of degrees
A job that allows me to pay a high living fees
It sends a shiver down my spine
Is it, that my dreams and reality do not align

Life is slipping away like the grains of sand
Not even traces remain on my hand

How Convenient!

Don’t know if this is complete yet....

U think,

For you ignorance is bliss
For me no bigger crime than this
For you callousness disguises as space
For me it cannot be present even in trace

For you lying is a birthright
For me a disguise to my plight
For you the stars are the destination
For me a mere wish is a fascination

For you the knowledge of the world is less
For me it causes unnecessary stress
For you its learning from your mistakes
For me it is raising the stakes

For you this birth was for a season
For me fault of the season

I think,

For you it is convenience
For me it is just my lenience

Life.....less than none!!!

Emotions overrated
Reality understated
Dynamic fluctuations
Conflicting situations

Web of desires
Burning pyres
want for more
Acceptance of what’s in store

Difference of thoughts
Miscommunication in lots
unidentified state
Disaster’s bait

Wavering footsteps
revamped preps
Fear of the unknown
defense walls grown

Simple decision
Focused precision
the done can’t be undone
a life less than none

.....and I break down and cry!!!

When I feel them walk all over me
Knowing my pain, they will not bother to see
Its then that I feel like tearing the world apart
A fire of rage, burns within my heart

When I see myself fall flat on the ground
I feel the thorns below and around
If only I could destroy the garden of life forever
The lure of flowers tells me to do that never

When I feel I am alone
Supposed friends ready to hurt with knives and stones
Its then I wish I had someone
Soon realizing soul mates for me are none

When hard work brings failure always
I yearn for the better days
Its then that I feel I am doomed
And hope someday I’ll see the bloom

When I see people playing games
Lauding me, then calling me names
Then I feel ashamed of it all
Wondering why they stoop so small

When I see my dreams shatter in front of me
When the question is to be or not to be
When every breadth of mine pinches like a sword
Its then I scream and say why! O Lord!

How desperately I try to fill my heart
To get up and make a fresh start
Have the faith and courage to try
But all I do is break down and cry.

The Deep Blue Ocean!

So calm and at peace with itself and yet the world is unaware of the turbulent waters it hides without a sign of turmoil. Giving life to millions of living organisms, bearing every load of the land, bearing the load of harness every moment giving many a baffled souls solace and tranquility.

Morning shows the hustle and bustle of the fisherman trying to make their living; men and women from all walks of life use the purity to wash of their sins. The birds hover over the only part of the universe they trust apart from the sky. The sky that itself bows to the magnanimity.

Noon brings in the loneliness; cause the world needs to accomplish the goals and
ambitions that it had defined for itself. No one remembers its existence and its any perceived value, only the net laid down by the fishermen bruise the already wounded heart of the this bed in blue.

Evening brings in the cheer, as lost souls caress the winds that adorn it and then dump their dirt on it, yet there is a cheer within the blue for the want of being acknowledged for existence.Night everyone has somewhere and someone to go to, however, the blue stays there stagnated for yet another day when life would be just same as it has been for the past thousands of years

The kings of modernization know it to be the only source of unlimited tangible profits.

The only thing that seems to care is the rain, without hesitation, without condition, it falls on the blue with all its love and refuses to leave the side of the blue.

And then one day unable to bear all that is stored inside, like a dormant volcano it erupts and just engulfs the entire universe in its fold, leaves no stone unturned and the aftermaths of which are felt for days together.

Once the job is done the blue goes back to its normal self for another thousand years where it will give many a shelter, love and total unconditional commitment to just give and not take back anything

That my friends is the description of the Deep Blue Ocean by an author, I read it once, then again and again and again, cause there was something that told me there is more to this than appears!!!……………….and then it hit me, did she just describe HERSELF!!!!!!!!

The search that never ended....

She lay in peace and her epitaph read "the endless search; that is still on". Every breadth a new struggle, a new fight, a cloud of fear engulfs every ray of hope. She tried; she left no step unturned to make sense of the madness but now she finally succumbs to try new worlds for a different realm.

But is her search over those questions still unanswered

Why for what and till how long????

All the way she wondered why her parents kept convincing her to follow the path of righteousness, be kind to others. Never hurt anyone knowingly. Never want something that you do not deserve

What they should have told her was to follow the path of righteousness, rarely. Be kind to others as long as it serves ones own purpose. Hurt people and be ignorant about it. If there is something you deserve, snatch it…. or else you will never get it.

She reached close to Insanity trying to solve this entanglement between her inner and outer self and lost her peace. The day she let go was the day she became free, because it did not matter what she did, she lost all sense of judging what people did and why they did it.

All that mattered to her now was running after the butterfly, basking in the morning sun’s glory, getting drenched in the rain, smiling at every passing soul who looked at her as if she was from another planet…but she never felt the scorn, all she felt was unexplainable bliss…something she had never felt before. It did not matter anymore

Yet, her eyes were always moist…she could not explain nor identify what it was that made this happen but this was it, she would be laughing at something she liked, such as a carefree child would, and tears rolled down her eyes, all in the same instance.

She kept searching wondering, but no answer came to her, she was clueless of this phenomenon that was building up inside her.

She meandered in vain with her quest for life and after it ended did she realized that what gave her this inspiration to her present path was her silent nemesis ...

Journey Across the Sea

As I embarked on the journey, I never thought
About all the turmoil that ambition brought
There were voices stopping me by the shore
On the other side calling me was the unseen land of the lore

My ship had all that I needed
A balance with reality is all destiny pleaded
Strength, courage, determination and will power
Were my kinsmen of every hour

I sailed through the calm waters and then came the storm
It threatened the existence of my ship breaking every norm
For a moment I thought all was lost
But my strong mast justified all its cost

There was calm, wide vista, with nothing to be seen
I had dared to go where very few had been
There’s still hope that I would get there
To the place I don’t know off, but a land rare

One day across the horizon this land appeared
My body tired, will drowned and soul seared
Yet there was a smile of victory and satisfaction
Unknown land, unknown risks, yet so much attraction

As I woke up and opened my eyes
A sense of freedom from all illusions and lies
The distant land was my goal my dream
The ship my vessel, my guide to my realm

I'd rather be alone...

Amused by the games people play
Perplexed by smiles that don’t always stay
Bewildered by the mood swings
Shocked by the crazy things

I try to figure out
Sanity in serene clout
Tangled in a web of thoughts
picking piece in lots

Drastic change in intentions
Humored by irrelevant contentions
Never-ending pretentions seem the way to be
Charade for the eyes to see

Relations of convenience everywhere
Chaos here and there
Unexplained acts to stare
Daunted by the righteous glare

Helpless cries, nowhere to go
amidst the storm, which direction to row
with everything in me as cold as stone
in this world I’d rather be alone!

Battle of Emotions!

I could have sworn I was doing alright
My goal my destiny all in sight
Now there is surge of anonymity that’s getting all over me
The mist of doubt, beyond which I cannot see

I cannot relate to anyone around
Meaningless words and actions and their reverberating sound
I question the very purpose of existence
My inspiration tattered, my gloom dense

It does not even hurt anymore, the numbness is profound
Ambition and dreams in chain of reality bound
It’s only these thoughts that mess my brains
Only solace is the bouts of salty rains

I wonder, I think, I decide and start all over again
Cold stone unaffected by any strain
Wondering where to go
Planning fast or treading slow

What to be, what not to be
What future is mine to see
With only darkness in sight
Moving on, leaving everything to the guiding light

One Moment is all it takes!!!

For years, Rose had relied on music to get her out of every storm, every hard time of her life. As life is full of vicissitudes, she did believe that whatever happens happens for the best.

The upheaval of the past eight months left her bruised to the point of no return. She had nowhere to go. She had given up on life. Instead of wishing and being disappointed all the time, she had decided to take one day at a time.

In March after an upheaval of emotions that had haunted her for months and was getting her nowhere, she decided to take a step that would change everything for her.

A part of the outcome was exactly what she had wanted and hoped for, but the other part was something that she had not imagined in her wildest dreams. What followed was days of struggle and nights of tears. This became a never ending story which could not be taken any longer and she decided it had to end, end today!

This was probably the first time living, as a dead person was more painful than being alive. All doors for her closed, she could not even complain as she bought this upon herself.

She made the mistake of dreaming; she had dared to wish when she knew that she had no right. What was worse about the whole situation was that this was not happening to her for the first time. She could not even speak to anyone how she felt, cause everyone thought she was stupid. She however, was not ready to believe that because she knew she had not done anything wrong to anyone but herself. She had not hurt anyone but herself. She had accepted whatever was given to her as per everyone’s convenience except hers. I guess that is what they call stupid.

She doubted if life would ever make sense if there will ever be a ray of hope. She had forgotten the meaning of the word hope, however, she was living because only cowards think of dying and you have to suffer for all your deeds. She lived each day thinking this was some suffering for a past actions and this too shall pass.

All she did was pray and she no idea that her prayers will be answered in such a manner.

She was devastated yet she felt good because she knew that tears now are better than tears for the rest of your life because of wrong decisions.

She left everything in the hands of God and knew that he is always there with her. Everything she wanted to hold on to just slipped from her hands like grains of sands. Three months passed by, the longest three months of her life. They say that time heals every wound…but somehow it did not help her.

Her eyes were like a never-ending sea of water, the flow never seemed to stop and yet she did not let the world know because only the weak cry. Not that she cared for what they thought but she just did not want any further discussion on the crazy topic once again.

As she was tugging along the drudgery of everyday life, she heard this song…your simple feel good song….she heard it and after a long time she suddenly smiled for some reason.

That one moment, changed everything for her. She for the first time since March realized why everything had happened the way it did. She was bought exactly where she had started her journey. This is where she learnt to spread her wings and fly away and this is where she had to be born again. She had gone through the worst, to truly be able to appreciate the best. She is God’s favorite and the best is YET TO COME!