Monday, July 12, 2010 | By: The Speaking Wood

I, unraveling me...

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As I boarded my flight to Paris, my life had turned a new leaf and thought I was leaving everything behind I was smiling for some strange reason. On the other hand, was it strange at all, this is what I had dreamed of, my own designer boutique at the coast of the French Riviera and it was happening now…everything that brought me to this moment had to have a purpose right?

Through life’s journey, my strength was my belief in me
I knew, I will be everything that I wanted to be
There were many a hurdles on this road winding
Treasures of achievement mine for finding
My designs, my hobby and passion now had a Dior stamp
Those dreamy weaves, now a talk of the ramp

Yet, it seems just like yesterday
Many years ago from today
Never knew complexion could be the parameter for glory to attain
Somehow, in every play, I was always made the villain
Wondered why I played those roles with élan
Until I learnt to admire the trophies of my life span

I was no less than a boy
Proving that was my only joy
Standing up against the society
Establishing women power, my only priority
I would always look up for answers to my mom and dad
Until I learnt their support was the biggest strength, I had

Ironically, I wanted to be everything a girl should not be
Pilot, Detective, Politician and Chef were not professions for a she
I even wanted to save the world from an alien attack.
The helplessness,   it was hard to hold the tears back
I kept taking flights of dreams with my feet hardly ever on the ground
Until I learnt to wait for my purpose to be found

My confidence was always a winner
Sloth and gluttony made me a sinner
Procrastination was my biggest enemy
Put me into troubles many
My free will needed a harness
Until I learnt to discipline myself through a pursuit relentless

Rules made me a rebel
My school s and colleges still have sagas to tell
Everyone remembered my name
However, brownie points were surely not my claim to fame
I can’t believe how long it took
Until I learnt to live ‘a little’ by the book

I thought love was about fairy tales and mills and boon
I would never want to spend my life dreaming by the moon
Then one day near the lovely woods, I met love
A conspiracy against me from heaven above
Inevitably, torn apart, crying for hours I would sit
Until I learnt that love was not dependent on the outcome of it

My creativity in my career, got me to places
The corporate world showed me the outline of my purpose in traces
While the stalwarts watched me through the scanner
I breezed through all tests in an eloquent manner
The pace to maintain my standing overwhelmed me
Until I learnt that, I need to toil, for the heights that I wanted to see

I still remember my first pay cheque; I was on a cloud nine
Parties, friends, vacations, dinners and wine
Living everyday like there was no tomorrow
When you have money, can there ever be any sorrow?
I forgot about the savings that I should have kept
Until I learnt, I was neck deep in debt

Always wanted to be a good friend
For my friends I could fight until the end
Everybody loved me, they were always there
Purpose solved they vanished, I was caught unaware
Standing on crossroads, I tried to be strong
Until I learnt, in judging them I was wrong

Life suddenly became a black hole
Every second taking me away from my goal
I lost all interest in work and living
I drained myself in measures of getting and giving
I broke down, numb to everything, cold as a stone
Until I learnt, that in life’s battle you are always alone

 I had no answers, yet questions were storming my mind
Where did I go wrong, a way out of this mess will I ever find?
The world is ruthless to the one in remorse
I could see myself drifting away from my course
I was lamenting at this state, surely not what I had set out to achieve
Until I learnt, I had even stopped to believe

Indulging in lengthy conversation with the supreme power
Music my soul mate of every hour
I immersed myself in worship and singing
My mind relaxed, experiencing sparks of a new beginning
Sympathizing with myself, with all that I had seen
Until I learnt, I was just being a drama queen

A free spirit like me, how could I be bogged down like this?
Me and defeated, no way, something went badly amiss
I had wasted so much time; there is still a long road to my fate
It was time for a revival, to start on a clean slate
Did not know hardships made you stronger and God’s favorite
Until I learnt, his ways to guide you are sometimes tough, mysterious and great

Walking beside me along with him, was his shadow my mother
Her perseverance and faith in me like no other
I sorted everything out and today have no regret
With valuable lessons learnt, that I will never forget
My best friend, my co passenger on board my flight

I finally made it, as she always knew I would, right! 
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