I'd rather be alone...

Amused by the games people play
Perplexed by smiles that don’t always stay
Bewildered by the mood swings
Shocked by the crazy things

I try to figure out
Sanity in serene clout
Tangled in a web of thoughts
picking piece in lots

Drastic change in intentions
Humored by irrelevant contentions
Never-ending pretentions seem the way to be
Charade for the eyes to see

Relations of convenience everywhere
Chaos here and there
Unexplained acts to stare
Daunted by the righteous glare

Helpless cries, nowhere to go
amidst the storm, which direction to row
with everything in me as cold as stone
in this world I’d rather be alone!

Battle of Emotions!

I could have sworn I was doing alright
My goal my destiny all in sight
Now there is surge of anonymity that’s getting all over me
The mist of doubt, beyond which I cannot see

I cannot relate to anyone around
Meaningless words and actions and their reverberating sound
I question the very purpose of existence
My inspiration tattered, my gloom dense

It does not even hurt anymore, the numbness is profound
Ambition and dreams in chain of reality bound
It’s only these thoughts that mess my brains
Only solace is the bouts of salty rains

I wonder, I think, I decide and start all over again
Cold stone unaffected by any strain
Wondering where to go
Planning fast or treading slow

What to be, what not to be
What future is mine to see
With only darkness in sight
Moving on, leaving everything to the guiding light

One Moment is all it takes!!!

For years, Rose had relied on music to get her out of every storm, every hard time of her life. As life is full of vicissitudes, she did believe that whatever happens happens for the best.

The upheaval of the past eight months left her bruised to the point of no return. She had nowhere to go. She had given up on life. Instead of wishing and being disappointed all the time, she had decided to take one day at a time.

In March after an upheaval of emotions that had haunted her for months and was getting her nowhere, she decided to take a step that would change everything for her.

A part of the outcome was exactly what she had wanted and hoped for, but the other part was something that she had not imagined in her wildest dreams. What followed was days of struggle and nights of tears. This became a never ending story which could not be taken any longer and she decided it had to end, end today!

This was probably the first time living, as a dead person was more painful than being alive. All doors for her closed, she could not even complain as she bought this upon herself.

She made the mistake of dreaming; she had dared to wish when she knew that she had no right. What was worse about the whole situation was that this was not happening to her for the first time. She could not even speak to anyone how she felt, cause everyone thought she was stupid. She however, was not ready to believe that because she knew she had not done anything wrong to anyone but herself. She had not hurt anyone but herself. She had accepted whatever was given to her as per everyone’s convenience except hers. I guess that is what they call stupid.

She doubted if life would ever make sense if there will ever be a ray of hope. She had forgotten the meaning of the word hope, however, she was living because only cowards think of dying and you have to suffer for all your deeds. She lived each day thinking this was some suffering for a past actions and this too shall pass.

All she did was pray and she no idea that her prayers will be answered in such a manner.

She was devastated yet she felt good because she knew that tears now are better than tears for the rest of your life because of wrong decisions.

She left everything in the hands of God and knew that he is always there with her. Everything she wanted to hold on to just slipped from her hands like grains of sands. Three months passed by, the longest three months of her life. They say that time heals every wound…but somehow it did not help her.

Her eyes were like a never-ending sea of water, the flow never seemed to stop and yet she did not let the world know because only the weak cry. Not that she cared for what they thought but she just did not want any further discussion on the crazy topic once again.

As she was tugging along the drudgery of everyday life, she heard this song…your simple feel good song….she heard it and after a long time she suddenly smiled for some reason.

That one moment, changed everything for her. She for the first time since March realized why everything had happened the way it did. She was bought exactly where she had started her journey. This is where she learnt to spread her wings and fly away and this is where she had to be born again. She had gone through the worst, to truly be able to appreciate the best. She is God’s favorite and the best is YET TO COME!